When we are born as babies, we want to be touched, stroked, kissed, and held. This conveys to these little creatures that they are loved and safe. From day one, the various physical touches from close caregivers begin. In connection with diaper changes, this also includes touching the genitals. Even at this stage, our brain makes connections about how our genitals are evaluated:

How does the person react when they see the genitals?

What is the facial expression?

How is the genital touched?

What words accompany the changing procedure?

In any case, even babies perceive these subtleties. Later, when it comes to language acquisition, the connotation flows into the gender designation.

"Schnäggli, Schätzli, Löchli, Pippi, Puller, Fifi, Scheide, Mumu" (I could go on and on with this list...!) are terms that toddlers use when they talk about their genitals. These are diminutives, sometimes even derogatory and absurd terms that characterize a "first meeting." What will their relationship with their own genitals be like when they're adults? Will they still refer to them as "Schnäggli" or "Pipi"? Do we want that?

As a mother and sexologist, I would like to encourage all parents to label their children's genitals accordingly: vulva and penis. Ultimately, not only parents are involved in this naming process, but also teachers, educators, professionals, etc.

For many parents, this seems too "detached" or too "adult." However, my experience in sexology is that even adults still say "Mumu" or "Pfifli." In my practice in Basel, I see how this term affects our perception of our own bodies, our gender identity, and ultimately our perception as sexual beings. Many people don't know their genitals—have little or no connection to them! This also influences our sex lives.

In any case, this is not solely due to the naming of their genitals, but also how they were able to establish a relationship with themselves and their bodies. Our language influences our thoughts, our feelings, and ultimately our being.

That's why I want to encourage people to look at their genitals in the mirror, greet them, touch them in a variety of ways, and play with them (with or without a sex toy)! Get to know them! Because that's how you'll discover what you like, what you find arousing, satisfying, and enjoyable during sex with yourself or with other people.

The relationship to one's own gender strengthens people as a whole and promotes a self-determined, free and holistic perception of the whole body!