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No sex before marriage: old rule or modern decision?

Time to read 4 min

In a world full of dating apps, one-night stands, and casual flings, the phrase "no sex before marriage" seems almost outdated. But is that really the case? Or is there perhaps more to it than just religious beliefs or cultural traditions? In this blog post, we—as your trusted online sex shop—take a closer look at this much-discussed topic. Openly, honestly, and with the touch of humor you've come to expect from us.

What does "no sex before marriage" actually mean?

The principle of "no sex before marriage" is deeply rooted in many religions and cultures. It is based on the idea that intimacy is something special that belongs within marriage – as a sign of deep connection, exclusivity, and spiritual purity. Those who follow this path consciously choose to have sexual experiences only within marriage.

But in our modern society, where openness and self-determination are becoming increasingly important, this decision is no longer solely a matter of faith. More and more people – even those without a religious background – are voluntarily choosing abstinence before marriage. Why? Out of conviction, for personal reasons, or simply because it feels right.

The reasons: Why people abstain from sex before marriage

There are many reasons why people choose abstinence – and none of them are "wrong". Here are some of the most common:

Building emotional depth

Sex is intimate. Very intimate. For many people, it's important that an emotional connection comes first, before things become physical. Abstaining from sex before marriage can help strengthen other aspects of the relationship – communication, trust, respect , and shared values.

Self-protection and healing

Those who have had bad experiences in the past – e.g., in toxic relationships – sometimes consciously decide to only allow physical closeness in a stable, safe environment.

Faith and spirituality

For religious people, abstinence is a sign of devotion – to God, but also to their future partner. It's about viewing the body as sacred and experiencing sexuality as a gift within marriage.

Personal Challenge

Some people consciously choose to do this in order to get to know themselves better, to be disciplined, or to gain a new perspective on relationships and intimacy.

Cuddle

No sex ≠ No pleasure: Intimacy has many faces.

Now be honest: When you hear "no sex," do you immediately think of deprivation, boredom, and frustration? Then it's time for a change of perspective.

Because physical closeness and intimacy don't end with sexual intercourse. Affection, kisses, massages, deep cuddling – all of this can be incredibly fulfilling. And that's exactly where we come in.

As a modern online sex shop, we understand intimacy in all its diversity. We believe that pleasure can take many forms – even without penetration.

Sensuality without sex – here's how

If you or your partner have decided to abstain from sex before marriage, it doesn't mean you have to say goodbye to sensuality and physical intimacy. On the contrary – there are many ways to make your time together pleasurable and fulfilling:

To stimulate erotic mental imagery

Desire begins in the mind. So why not share erotic fantasies, read sensual stories together, or listen to erotic audiobooks? This strengthens the emotional bond and stimulates the imagination.

Massage oils & scented candles

A sensual full-body massage can work wonders. With warm massage oil , captivating scents, and a relaxed atmosphere, a simple touch becomes an intense experience.


Cuddling with extras

Cuddling isn't just cuddling. How about a tantric cuddling session where you touch each other mindfully and stay fully in the moment? Or a feather tickler that gently stimulates your skin?


Sex toys for external stimulation

Just because you're not having sex doesn't mean you have to forgo sex toys. There are many products that can help you get to know your body (and your partner's) better – from external vibrators to pelvic floor strengthening balls .

Criticism & Prejudice: What if others don't understand you?

If you say you don't want to have sex before marriage, you probably won't only receive sympathetic looks. Some will smile at you, others might try to convince you otherwise. The truth? It's your body . Your decision. And no one has the right to judge it.

You might even be surprised how many people are in similar situations – quietly, discreetly, and without making a fuss. Perhaps you'll even meet someone who admires you for precisely this decision. Because it demonstrates courage, self-respect, and clarity.

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No sex before marriage – and what about after?

The big moment has arrived: the wedding night. Now anything goes, right? Well, yes and no. Many couples who have previously lived abstinently report very different experiences. Sometimes it's fireworks – sometimes more of a tentative approach.

Our tip: Don't put pressure on yourselves. The first time you have sex together can be wonderful, but it doesn't have to be perfect. Take your time. Explore each other slowly. Talk openly about desires, boundaries, and fears. And if you want to use aids like lubricant or toys – all the better!

Conclusion: Your decision matters

"No sex before marriage" is not a relic of the past, but for many people a very conscious, modern decision. Whether for religious reasons, out of conviction, or simply out of a desire for a deeper connection – this choice deserves respect.

As an online sex shop, we support you in finding your own path. Whether with or without sex – intimacy, closeness, and desire are essential to a fulfilling relationship. And that's exactly what we offer you: products, content, and inspiration.

Loveiu is the leading Swiss online sex shop with a comprehensive guide offering tips on sex toys and a fulfilling love life. Check back occasionally and look out for great articles.