Orgasmus

Orgasm dilemma: The man doesn't come during sex - what can you do?

Time to read 4 min

Sex is an essential part of many relationships and brings not only physical but also emotional closeness. But what if a man can't climax during sex? This problem, also known as the "orgasm dilemma," affects more men than you might think and can have various causes. In this article, you'll learn what the possible reasons are and how you can deal with them to strengthen your intimacy.

Why orgasm doesn't occur

There are many reasons why a man may not be able to climax during sex. Often, several factors interact. Here are some of the most common causes:


1. Psychological causes

Stress, pressure, and anxiety play a major role. If a man focuses too much on being "perfect" or is afraid of not being good enough, this can block orgasm . Depression or anxieties, such as fear of failure, can also make the path to climax more difficult.


2. Physical causes

Diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular problems, or hormonal disorders can also lead to a lack of orgasm. Some medications, such as antidepressants or blood pressure medications, negatively affect libido and the ability to climax.


3. Habits and lifestyle

Excessive pornography consumption can distort expectations about real sexuality. Men who are accustomed to a certain type of stimulation (e.g., through masturbation) sometimes find it more difficult to climax during sex with a partner.


4. Alcohol and drugs

Alcohol or drug use can dampen the body's sensitivity and responsiveness. While a glass of wine can be relaxing, too much alcohol often inhibits the ability to achieve orgasm.

How you can deal with it

If your partner is having trouble climaxing during sex, it's important to respond sensitively and supportively. Here are some approaches that can help:


1. Open communication

Talk to your partner about the problem without being critical. An honest and relaxed conversation can reduce anxiety and show them that you support them. Ask them how they feel about it and if they have any idea what the cause might be.


2. Take the pressure off

Sometimes the problem arises precisely from focusing on orgasm. Try to take the pressure off and focus on shared intimacy rather than on the goal of climaxing. Cuddling, kissing, or a massage can help you savor the moment.


3. Bring variety into your love life

New positions, locations, or fantasies can help increase desire. If routine is taking the edge off, you can breathe new life into the bedroom with creative ideas.


4. Support from an expert

If you find yourself stuck on your own, seeing a sex therapist or psychologist is a good option. An expert can analyze the root causes and provide you with tools to solve the problem.

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Practical tips for everyday life

Even small changes in your daily routine can make a big difference. Here are a few practical tips:


1. Relax together

Stress reduction is often key. You can meditate together, do yoga, or simply take regular time for each other to relax.


2. Sports and exercise

Exercise promotes blood circulation and promotes a healthier body. This not only strengthens overall health but can also improve sexual function.


3. Healthy diet

A balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats can help boost libido. Foods like avocado, nuts, and dark chocolate are particularly considered libido-enhancing.


4. Set limits on alcohol and nicotine

Reduce your consumption of alcohol and cigarettes together. Both substances can negatively impact sexual performance.

What you can do as a partner

As a partner, you have an important role to play in addressing the problem. Here are a few things you can do:


1. Be patient

It's important to be patient and not put pressure on yourself. Sensitivity and understanding will help your partner open up and not feel "wrong."


2. Stay positive

Even though it can be frustrating when sex doesn't go as planned, stay positive. Focus on what's working well and celebrate small successes.


3. Offer support

If your partner wants to talk about their fears or worries, listen and offer your support. Sometimes just being there is enough.

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Why sex toys can be a good addition

Sex toys are versatile and can be individually tailored to your needs. They offer:


  • New stimuli: Sex toys stimulate in ways that hands, mouths, or other body parts alone can't. These new sensations can help you reach climax.

  • Stress relief: Toys can take the pressure off the situation because they can be used playfully and without obligation.

  • Targeted stimulation: Some toys are specifically designed to increase the sensitivity of certain areas of the body.

The best sex toys for men with orgasm dilemma

1. Masturbators

Masturbators such as pocket vibrators or Fleshlight -like toys simulate different sensations and can help you discover new types of stimulation. For men who have trouble climaxing during sex, a masturbator can be a good way to discover which touches or stimuli are particularly pleasurable.


2. Vibration rings

Vibrating cock rings can improve blood flow and help increase sensitivity. They're easy to use and can be used during masturbation or during intercourse. Bonus: Many models also stimulate the clitoris, which can be exciting for you too.


3. Prostate stimulators

The prostate is often referred to as the "male G-spot." A prostate stimulator can help trigger intense orgasms that go beyond normal stimulation. This can be a completely new experience, especially for men who have difficulty climaxing.


4. Couple vibrators

These toys are specifically designed for shared use. They can stimulate both the man and the woman simultaneously and help take intimacy to a new level. The focus here is on jointly discovering new pleasure spots.

When a visit to the doctor is advisable

If the problem persists for a longer period of time or is accompanied by other symptoms (such as pain or a complete loss of libido), you should consult a doctor. A urologist or sexual medicine specialist can rule out or treat medical causes. Hormonal testing may also be helpful to detect testosterone deficiency.

Conclusion

The "orgasm dilemma"—when a man can't reach orgasm during sex—is an issue that affects many couples. However, there are numerous ways to improve the situation—from open communication and stress-free approaches to medical support. It's important that you work together as a team and support each other. Because ultimately, it's all about experiencing fulfilling and enjoyable moments together.

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