Paar beim Sex

How often is normal? The truth about sex frequency

Time to read 3 min

Do you sometimes wonder if you're having sex too often or too rarely? Don't worry, you're not alone. Many people ask themselves this very question. The good news: There's no "magic number" that applies to all couples or individuals. In this blog post, you'll learn how often sex is "normal," what studies say, which factors influence your sex life, and how you can focus on your own satisfaction.

What does “normal” even mean?

The word "normal" is a difficult term when it comes to sex. What's a lot for one couple may be a little for another. "Normal" shouldn't be seen as a judgment, but rather as an average or guideline. Individual desire, life circumstances, and relationship structure all play an important role.

Studies on the frequency of sex

According to a study by the Kinsey Institute, couples between the ages of 18 and 29 have sex an average of about 112 times per year, or about twice a week. Between the ages of 30 and 39, the number drops to about 86 times per year, or 1.6 times per week. People between the ages of 40 and 49 have sex an average of 69 times per year. Of course, these are averages and can vary greatly.

The Durex Global Sex Survey also shows similar trends. Interestingly, satisfaction doesn't necessarily depend on frequency. Some couples have sex less frequently but are very happy with it.

Factors that influence the frequency of sex

  1. Length of relationship: At the beginning of a relationship, desire is often higher. Over time, the frequency usually decreases, which is completely normal.

  2. Stress: Work-related or personal stress can have a strong impact on desire.

  3. Health: Physical or mental illnesses can affect your sex life.

  4. Communication: Couples who talk openly about their needs often have a more fulfilling sex life.

  5. Children: When there are children in the house, there is often not enough time or energy for togetherness.

  6. Age: As we age, hormone levels and sexual needs change.

You're not weird if...

Do you rarely feel like having sex? You're not weird or disturbed. There are phases in life when desire is lower. The important thing is that you accept yourself and talk openly about it with your partner.

Self-love man

Quality instead of quantity

Many people think that more sex automatically means better sex. But that's not necessarily true. The quality of the sexual experience is much more important. Do you feel desired? Are you being taken seriously? Is there trust and intimacy? All of these things play a big role.

What to do if you are dissatisfied?

If you're dissatisfied with your sex life, you should ask yourself: Why? Are you lacking intimacy? Desire? Communication? Or is it simply everyday life that's consuming you? Here are some tips:

  • Speak openly and honestly with your partner.

  • Consciously plan time for intimacy.

  • Try new things to increase your desire.

  • Reduce stress through exercise or meditation.

  • Don’t be afraid to seek help from couples or sex therapists.

Masturbation is completely normal

Many people supplement their sex lives with masturbation . This is healthy, normal, and can help you get to know yourself better. Even in a relationship, this isn't a sign of dissatisfaction, but is often a part of a healthy sex life.

Older couple

New sexual practices in old age for a breath of fresh air in the relationship

Woman Self-Love Discover yourself: Why sex toys can enrich your sensual journey
Self-love Self-love and routines: How to find more inner strength and joy in life
libido Increase libido: Natural ways to more desire and passion
STD test Dental dams: Safe oral sex made easy – use, benefits, and tips
Older couple

Sexuality in old age: How your body and your needs change

Older people hugging each other Sex toys in old age? Yes, definitely!
Symbol of a sensual moment The lack of desire in our bed - How to get rid of it!

Why you shouldn't compare yourself

Comparing yourself to others is rarely helpful when it comes to sex. Every relationship is unique. Everyone has individual needs. If you constantly wonder whether others have more or better sex, you're only putting pressure on yourself.

Find your own "normal"

The most important thing is that you are satisfied with your sex life. It's not about what others do or what studies say. It's about what works for you and your partner.

So ask yourself:

  • How do I feel about my current sex life?

  • What do I want?

  • What can I do to feel more comfortable?

Conclusion: Listen to your feelings, not to numbers

The frequency of sex is as individual as every relationship. There's no set standard you have to follow. What matters is that you feel comfortable with yourself and your partner. Openness, communication, and self-acceptance are the keys to a fulfilling sex life.

So don't let numbers drive you crazy. You alone decide what's right for you.

Loveiu is the leading Swiss online sex shop with a comprehensive guide that offers you tips on sex toys and a fulfilling sex life. Check back occasionally and look out for great reviews.