Orgasmus

Orgasm dilemma: The man doesn't come during sex - what can you do?

Time to read 5 min

Sex is an essential part of many relationships, bringing not only physical but also emotional intimacy. But what if a man doesn't reach orgasm during sex? This problem, also known as the "orgasm dilemma," affects more men than you might think and can have various causes. In this article, you'll learn about the possible reasons and how you can address them to strengthen your intimacy.

Why orgasm is not occurring

There are many reasons why a man might not be able to ejaculate during sex. Often, several factors interact. Here are some of the most common causes:


1. Psychological causes

Stress, pressure, and anxiety play a significant role. If a man focuses too much on being "perfect" or fears not being good enough, this can block orgasm . Depressive moods or anxieties, such as fear of failure, can also make reaching climax more difficult.


2. Physical causes

Diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular problems, or hormonal disorders can also prevent orgasm. Some medications, such as antidepressants or blood pressure medications, negatively affect libido and the ability to reach climax.


3. Habits and Lifestyle

Excessive porn consumption can distort expectations of real sexuality. Men who have become accustomed to a certain type of stimulation (e.g., through masturbation) sometimes find it more difficult to reach orgasm during sex with a partner.


4. Alcohol and drugs

Alcohol or drug use can dull the body's sensitivity and responsiveness. While a glass of wine can be relaxing, too much alcohol often inhibits the ability to achieve orgasm.

How you can deal with it

If your partner is having difficulty reaching orgasm during sex, it's important to respond sensitively and supportively. Here are some approaches that can help:


1. Open communication

Talk to your partner about the problem without criticizing them. An honest and relaxed conversation can reduce anxiety and show them that you support them. Ask them how they feel about it and if they have any idea what the cause might be.


2. Take the pressure off

Sometimes the problem arises precisely from focusing on orgasm. Try to take the pressure off and concentrate on shared intimacy instead of the goal of reaching climax at all costs. Cuddling, kissing, or a massage can help you enjoy the moment.


3. Bring variety into your love life

New positions, locations, or fantasies can help increase desire. If routine is diminishing the excitement, you can breathe new life into the bedroom with creative ideas.


4. Support from an expert

If you find that you can't make progress on your own, seeing a sex therapist or psychologist is a good option. An expert can analyze the underlying causes and provide you with tools to solve the problem.

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Practical tips for everyday life

Even small changes in your daily routine can make a big difference. Here are a few practical tips:


1. Relaxing together

Stress reduction is often the key. You can meditate together, do yoga, or simply take regular time for each other to relax.


2. Sport and exercise

Exercise promotes blood circulation and contributes to a healthier body. This not only strengthens overall health but can also improve sexual function.


3. Healthy diet

A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats can help boost libido. Foods like avocados, nuts, and dark chocolate are particularly known to enhance sexual desire.


4. Setting limits on alcohol and nicotine

Reduce your consumption of alcohol and cigarettes together. Both substances can negatively affect sexual performance.

What you can do as a partner

As the partner, you have an important role to play in dealing with the problem. Here are a few things you can do:


1. Be patient

It's important to be patient and not put pressure on them. Empathy and understanding will help your partner open up and not feel "wrong".


2. Stay positive

Even though it can be frustrating when sex doesn't go as planned, stay positive. Focus on what works well and celebrate small successes.


3. Offer support

If your partner wants to talk about their fears or worries, listen to them and offer your support. Sometimes, simply being there for them is enough.

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Why sex toys can be a good addition

Sex toys are versatile and can be individually tailored to your needs. They offer:


  • New stimuli: Sex toys stimulate in ways that hands, mouth, or other body parts alone cannot. These new sensations can help reach orgasm.

  • Stress reduction: Toys can take the pressure out of a situation because they can be used playfully and without obligation.

  • Targeted stimulation: Some toys are specifically designed to increase the sensitivity of certain body regions.

The best sex toys for men experiencing the orgasm dilemma

1. Masturbators

Masturbators such as pocket vibrators or " Fleshlight "-like toys simulate different sensations and can help discover new types of stimulation. For men who have difficulty reaching orgasm during sex, a masturbator can be a good way to find out which touches or stimuli are particularly pleasurable.


2. Vibrating rings

Vibrating penis rings can improve blood flow and help increase sensitivity. They are easy to use and can be used both during masturbation and partnered sex. Bonus: Many models also stimulate the clitoris, which can be exciting for you too.


3. Prostate stimulators

The prostate is often referred to as the "male G-spot." A prostate stimulator can help trigger intense orgasms that go beyond typical stimulation. This can be a completely new experience, especially for men who have difficulty reaching climax.


4. Couple vibrators

These toys are specifically designed for shared use. They can stimulate both men and women simultaneously and help take intimacy to a new level. The focus here is on discovering new erogenous zones together.

When a doctor's visit is advisable

If the problem persists for an extended period or is accompanied by other symptoms (such as pain or complete loss of libido), you should consult a doctor. A urologist or sexual medicine specialist can rule out or treat medical causes. A hormone test can also be helpful in detecting a testosterone deficiency.

Conclusion

The "orgasm dilemma," where the man doesn't reach orgasm during sex, is an issue that affects many couples. However, there are numerous ways to improve the situation – from open communication and stress-free approaches to medical support. It's important that you work together as a team and support each other. Because ultimately, it's about experiencing fulfilling and beautiful moments together.

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